You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
