but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I AM VODKA MAN
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
