Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
