You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
