he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
