Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize