So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize