Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
