I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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