True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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