Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
