they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
