i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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