I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I forget how to act sober
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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