She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
