This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
