my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
