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I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
