life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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