They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Randomize