school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
