You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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