I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
