Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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