she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
organizing the empties. That sober.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
