Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
