My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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