omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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