Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
