Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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