I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
