I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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