They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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