Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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