I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
