Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
