Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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