im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
