You really coming over, don't trick.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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