I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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