Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's always time for handjobs
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
