So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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