He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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