when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
