Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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