I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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