im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
