doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
