I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize