I feel like abortions should bother me more
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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