the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
