Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
