didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
