so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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