what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
