He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
