New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
