There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
