we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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