Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
