i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
