sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
