I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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