I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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