I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
