if only i could text you this smell
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
