I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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