You really coming over, don't trick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
