Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
