I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
