I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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